“Attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a defined as a psychiatric and a neurobehavioral disorder. It is characterized by either significant difficulties of inattention or hyperactivity and impulsiveness or a combination of the two.” – the one and only Wikipedia
Even though this disease is usually spotted around the age of 5-7 in children, I’m probably the late bloomer, just as I am with my facial hair (damn you, genes!). I finally realized that I might be the victim of ADD (ADHD?) a few years ago, when I’ve noticed an extremely high interest in various activities for a short period of time. I’ve done it all – business, entrepreneurship, fitness instructing, investing, nutrition science, film criticism, gambling, blogging, video gaming, youtube’ing, career as an athlete, trying to become a writer, musician, singer, poet, etc. And that is just in the last few years; I gave an opportunity to each and every single one of these career choices, and even had some results. I thought I can make it. I was wrong. Very wrong. Again, and again, and again.
This impulsive behavior is my enemy, as well as my friend. During these years as I watched my interests come and go, I have spotted one very important factor – I have always maintained pure love for acting, and interest in becoming another thespian in the masses; be it for a living or as a hobby, this wonder stayed with me through everything. It’s my friend, my companion. I don’t know what exactly “it” is (maybe this is the variation of the same “it” Neal Cassidy always referred to), but the important part is that it motivates me for anything and everything that I do in my recent years, and I’m thankful for it.
So there you go – I haven’t written anything in here for a long time, and maybe this post is just another “impulse” that I have received. It very much can be, as now I’m sitting with my rum&coke next to me, got my glasses on and Vivaldi playing in the background: all this sounds too good to be true. In any case, I would like to bring some updates to this weblog and maybe blow some life into it, finally start it off and have someone read one or two pieces of my hideous writing. A lot has happened since I have last expressed myself through writing, so there will be topics to talk about; I also have some interesting things to discuss and most important would need some opinions on them.
Finally, I hope you guys found your own “it”, be it acting or something else. “It” that drives you forward and motivates you, even if just for a short while; at the end of the day you can try and take control of this driving force, make it work for you and help you build something bigger and better in your life, or out of your life. That’s my goal anyway. So, do you have it?
“Here’s a guy and everybody’s there, right? Up to him to put down what’s on everybody’s mind. He starts the first chorus, then lines up his ideas, people, yeah, yeah, but get it, and then he rises to his fate and has to blow equal to it. All of a sudden somewhere in the middle of the chorus he gets it – everybody looks up and knows; they listen; he picks it up and carries. Time stops. He’s filling empty space with the substance of our lives, confessions of his bellybottom strain, remembrance of ideas, rehashes of old blowing. He has to blow across bridges and come back and do it with such infinite feeling soul-exploratory for the tune of the moment that everybody knows it’s not the tune that counts but IT” – Dean Moriarty in “On The Road”