Is There Time To Call It Quits | Discussion

I’m sure a lot of us thought about the idea of what would happen if something doesn’t go the way we wanted it to. If that casting director that we were looking for our whole career won’t think that we fit best the part of the character for the next summer’s blockbuster movie. I beg your pardon in advance in case some of you haven’t had an opportunity to think of this yet — I have already, but that’s just because I sometimes have too much free time on my hands, that I should be using more productively than day dreaming all day. However, it’s not to say it discourages me or brings me to a state of great melancholy, because I always see my plan B in front of me, in everything I do; it just appears without me asking for it.

Secret Agent Man from Backstage quite recently posted another column titled “When Should You Give Up Acting?” While not giving any specific details on time for one calling in quits, he proposes there should be some indicators in the surrounding world of when an actor has reached the end of the line and should consider other ways to fulfill his or her creative needs. While I usually love everything SAM is composing behind his PC, I’m not sure I am with him on this one. To me, it seems that the case could not be more individual and personal, with times of quitting cold turkey depending on inner feelings rather than any indicators from the outside world.

Kathryn Joosten – made it in her 50’s

Alan Ford wrote a small book titled “Thin Ice“, with a tagline: “A resting actor, a busy day.” It’s about an actor in his fifties in London, who — after a very long “career” — has nothing to his name except for an Armani coat and a small crappy apartment that he is renting: no money, no family, no estate or savings, just the grey hair and a career of an actor who gets to work once in a while. Yet, he is not even thinking about quitting – he keeps pushing, because that is the only thing for him, and he has been doing it since high school. When I’ve read it, I saw myself in it — I wouldn’t mind that kind of life, as long as I get to work a little. Maybe not in London though, definitely would prefer New York City instead.

The point is that if you feel that settling down, having a house and a family would make you happy, with acting career becoming a part-time thing or a hobby, then by all means that is what you should do. If, however, there is (will be) this aching feeling of something unaccomplished that haunts you every time you go see a play or watch a film, a TV show, then I don’t know how one can live with that. There are times when we are tired of those rejections pushing us off our horses over and over again, but eventually, after crying in a corner somewhere, we just get back up again. As I see it, one does not quit acting because one is fed up with trying and not succeeding – you quit it, because you either run out of creative steam inside of you or you find another place where to release it, and that is the only way for an artist’s soul to rest peacefully. Otherwise, we would have gone to a law school in the first place.

“Life is like an hourglass. Eventually, everything hits the bottom and all you have to do is wait it out until someone comes along and turns it around.”

Have you set yourself time limits for how long you are about to do this?

Categories: Discussion | Tags: , | 2 Comments

Hugh Jackman’s Oscars Opening | Inspiration

“I’ve always felt that if you back down from a fear, the ghost of that fear never goes away. It diminishes people. So I’ve always said ‘yes’ to the thing I’m most scared about.” – Hugh Jackman

I have had so many ideas for great and inspirational blog posts on my way home from work, but as soon as I sat down next to my computer, all of them shot out of my head. Why does this always happen? It doesn’t matter, because today I feel inspired, and the reason for it is Hugh Jackman. As we have previously discussed, my ADD plays a massive part in my everyday life as well as my decisions towards pursuing an acting career. I can get motivated just as easy as I can get discouraged. What has done it this time for me? Observe below.

I’ve never been into Musical Theater, because you don’t really want to hear someone like me sing or dance, but it was always a secret desire of mine. It is something that should be fun to do, especially in front of a big crowd that enjoys this type of entertainment. Watch Hugh perform and all your doubts will disappear. He doesn’t look feminine, not in any way (he did in performing Not The Boy Next Door though, which he did on purpose), while he sings, dances and just performs, like a real actor entertainer. One of the best Oscars openings by far.

30 minute posts daily!

Have you gave “The Artist’s Way” a shot already? If not, you should then. As I have mentioned before, based on the advice by Julia Cameron, I am trying to unblock myself as much as I could and write any kind of nonsense every single day. This morning I thought: “I’m doing this almost everyday, in my hidden-from-the-world Word document, just for myself; why not drop a few meaningless lines onto my blog?” and an hour later, there we go – a meaningless blog post coming alive. I am sure none of my three daily readers would mind a few empty paragraphs on a daily basis, seeing as there haven’t been any updates for two weeks now anyway. Again, lets see how long can I keep this up. A day, or two, or maybe be insane and go a whole week?..

If anybody will ever read this, give me a shout and let me know what you think of Hugh Jackman’s performance. Does this kind of stuff inspires you, or discourages you? Would you like to see more articles with personal inspirations for the day?

Categories: Inspiration | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

What for an actor to do? | Planning

How do people listen to music while doing something else creative? Writing, for example. Not that I’m being overly creative writing another blog post over here, but I am almost sure there is a part of the right side of the brain involved in this seldom accomplishment of mine. I just had to turn off Mr Bon Jovi (after singing a few songs with him, duh), as there is no way one can concentrate while this kind of 80’s songs are playing. I skimped through my collection and put on La Primavera, then L’inverno, L’Autunno and L’Estate by Vivaldi from The Four Seasons. Didn’t work – as it turns out, I’m just useless when any kind of music to my liking is playing in the background. I obviously started to orchestrate the pieces, as one does (3rd minute of L’Inverno). One artistic task at a time for me please.

Left Side of the Brain vs. Right side of the Brain

Remember back in the day when I ranted about becoming more “actor-ish”? Well, I finally realized that the thing was (is) partially idiotic. I since have tried to fight my laziness and did the things that I like – drawing, reading, guitar, flute, harmonica. It also has to be mentioned that I got my hands onto these mostly no more than once a month – I pick up the harmonica, spend fifteen minutes with it and get pissed off about how difficult it is to learn and put it down. Now that’s progress man! Bruce is awesome at this though.

In other news, my green card has finally arrived about a month ago (it actually is very green!) – the physical copy with the ugly looking dude on the right side and a poorly printed signature at the bottom (when did they get my signature for the ID? #scary) I’m definitely-maybe a partial citizen of this broke country in debt that I love so very much. I don’t get a vote though, which I really wish I did, like, for tomorrow. The minute I’ve opened the letter with GC, I have realized that the course of my life is changing fo-real and I am leaving Europe for good. *restarts Four Seasons* Since then I am trying to drop all the nonsense bullshit that I’ve been doing so far and seriously concentrate on the craft. So I have a question for you – have you been working on your craft? I was trying to come up with a few ideas what there is for an actor to do while no significant acting/business/networking task can be done, and I present to you several thoughts that I kept in my head.

Disclaimer: The list is mostly for those light years away from the show business industry – much like I am – therefore no “classes, mailings, other submissions” are included.

 Reading books

This was my priority number one, and for more than one reason. Being born as Russian mixed with some other lesser known nations, in an Eastern European country, and moved to United Kingdom not too long ago, it is not difficult to figure that English is not one’s native tongue and the hideous accent doesn’t help to mask it (at least I can pretend to be a good speaker behind this screen over here). Reading plenty helped me improve my language, my accent, my pronunciation and not only that – reading is or should be an essential part of every actor’s life, as it will help to expand your imagination. Next to Meisner/Esper exercises, this is one of the top activities for bringing your imagination back to child-like state (this is a good thing). Also, don’t limit yourself only to acting related books. In fact, it’s best to rest from the craft and the business once in a while and embark on some imagination adventure with a nice cozy book. I discovered Beat Generation a long while ago and am still trying to read everything and anything written by the Beats during 1940s-60s. Plays are always a good idea.

 Writing stuff

Not every one can be a writer. I have never been a good one; frankly I suck at it, big time. But what I do, is just keep trying, and it’s the key word for me throughout this whole journey of mine. I feel if I just keep pushing this crap out of myself, from somewhere very deep inside of me some Billy Wilder stuff will come out. It’s like running water from the tap after fixing the pipes – ya’kno, that brownish stuff: you run it and it keeps coming, getting clearer and clearer bit by bit. Never had that? Well, you’ve never lived in Eastern Europe. In any case, keep producing any kind of writing – blogging, screen plays, plays, books, letters, diaries, etc. It is basically what Julia Cameron advised in The Artist’s Way – A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity (arguably the best book for a creative person; ignore the religious stuff if you’d like): to “unblock” yourself, write anything for 30min everyday. Be open.

 Internet research

Probably the favorite one of most of nowadays’ folks. None of us can live without the thing, and the ability to incorporate internet in the journey of becoming a better actor is truly a blessing. Just like it can be a curse; depending on what kind of a person are you. I have to admit that I need to limit and control my daily intake of the internet, as I can very easily got caught up there and spend about 20 hours without even noticing it (fact). However, there is plenty of stuff to do in there to find motivation, to get creative, to research, find answers to any question you need. Basically, do a lot of reading. Apart from loads of other websites, I usually go and read BackStage and Showfax weekly columns – there is so much genius compositions there from even before I have decided to become an actor that it will take till the end of my career in show business to polish them all (my favorites include SAM and Bonnie). I seek motivation in reading interviews and biographies of my favorite actors, as well as taking notice in what they have done to prepare for the role or make it in this industry (trust me, there’s nothing wrong with that, as any experienced working actor will tell you). I love reading other actor’s blogs (there is a post dedicated to them coming up) – this will present you with an idea of the reality of the struggle in LA and NYC that you are going to experience; it’s a great motivation too (one of my favorites is StarsInTheEyes). If you have questions, an awesome forum on the business is always there to help you out.

 Going out

Sober. And during the day. And not to the club. And without the entourage – on your own, so you can concentrate on your thoughts. I myself am poor at concentration (as we have established, ADD doesn’t help much either), therefore I like to force and train myself to become better at it. It is fairly easier when you love the things you are concentrating on. Apparently, James Dean was magnificent at this – it’s easy to tell, even if it’s from a very few of his performances (find D.Hopper’s quote below). Go out to galleries, shows, museums or do any other that sort of thing. You can also try and dedicate your time to trying to correct grammar mistakes in this post, but I recommend first to just go around and see things. Then, give a shot to trying to understand the meaning behind a painting, or a photograph, or a sculpture. Imagine, how it was being made or what is the thought of it. That is what I do, and I do enjoy it (I never thought that I would have before trying). I feel as if it is waking up the right side of my brain, and at the same time taking me away from the blocked person I used to be. It might be placebo, of course, but what do I care… Stop it, if you hate it; find any other activity in this field of creative works (see paragraph below). There is a great part dedicated to a similar idea in, again, Julia Cameron’s “The Artist’s Way” book, called “artist’s date“, if I’m not mistaken (it’s been a while the last time I’ve read the book). Go out. On your own, it’s essential.

“I have never seen an actor as dedicated, with the extreme concentration and exceptional imagination as James Dean.” – Dennis Hopper of James Dean

James Dean Acting Concentration

 …small things also matter

There are so many little things in life that we might overlook when talking about preparing for the craft, but I feel these are all individual-based tasks. However the idea is all the same – to embrace them, and not drop everything that you used to love for the sake of working on the acting craft and business twenty four / seven. Live your life and enjoy whatever you used to before dedicating yourself fully to this serious and long-term relationship with acting. Personally, I do like going to the gym once in a while; I feel good both physically and mentally after. Running is another physical activity that I sometimes get a rush of hypothalamic hormones to accomplish: just go out and do Forrest Gump kind of running to nowhere. Watching good films, especially good old ones (still working on finishing IMDb’s Top 250, got about 50% left) isn’t bad: this one is always a huge motivator for me to go and do things that matter. Listening to music – a definite drug of mine that I spend ours on, as well as a lot of other people’s, I am sure: you do have to choose something more meaningful than Guetta though, I guess. Go for The Four Seasons. *restarts Four Seasons again* I’m just kidding – to each their own. Drawing, playing, painting, writing, thinking, singing, imagining, learning, composing, day-dreaming, researching, listening, being interested… oh man, there are so many little unrelated things that we can do besides stuff for acting, which in the end, I think (two key words here, mind you), would help us to become better actors. Balance.

I just got people involved into my life, and you already know so much more about foreign actor’s dream journey of breaking into the industry. These are the things that I try to do, ideas that I believe in and goals that I try to accomplish. I have skipped sentences like submitting yourself to agents, sending out postcards to CDs, getting together with your acting associates and do acting-related things, go out networking and some healthy stalking of Steven Spielberg, join **** class or community college or improv group or comedy show or a circus, and the rest. These are all vital no doubt, but I am too far away from Tinseltown at the moment, and too broke to keep going back and forth to/from London (it’s way more expensive down here in South of England, ya’kno). Hopefully there are no more aspiring actors in similar situation, but if there are, maybe you get something out of this ADD-inspired post.

“He had the greatest power of concentration I have ever encountered… The lines were not simply something he had memorized – they were actually a very real part of him.” – Jim Backus of James Dean

Now go learn a new monologue that’ll come in handy later. I will.

Categories: Advice | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

ADD – my enemy and my friend | Back to Business

Attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a defined as a psychiatric and a neurobehavioral disorder. It is characterized by either significant difficulties of inattention or hyperactivity and impulsiveness or a combination of the two.” – the one and only Wikipedia

Even though this disease is usually spotted around the age of 5-7 in children, I’m probably the late bloomer, just as I am with my facial hair (damn you, genes!). I finally realized that I might be the victim of ADD (ADHD?) a few years ago, when I’ve noticed an extremely high interest in various activities for a short period of time. I’ve done it all – business, entrepreneurship, fitness instructing, investing, nutrition science, film criticism, gambling, blogging, video gaming, youtube’ing, career as an athlete, trying to become a writer, musician, singer, poet, etc. And that is just in the last few years; I gave an opportunity to each and every single one of these career choices, and even had some results. I thought I can make it. I was wrong. Very wrong. Again, and again, and again.

This impulsive behavior is my enemy, as well as my friend. During these years as I watched my interests come and go, I have spotted one very important factor – I have always maintained pure love for acting, and interest in becoming another thespian in the masses; be it for a living or as a hobby, this wonder stayed with me through everything. It’s my friend, my companion. I don’t know what exactly “it” is (maybe this is the variation of the same “it” Neal Cassidy always referred to), but the important part is that it motivates me for anything and everything that I do in my recent years, and I’m thankful for it.

So there you go – I haven’t written anything in here for a long time, and maybe this post is just another “impulse” that I have received. It very much can be, as now I’m sitting with my rum&coke next to me, got my glasses on and Vivaldi playing in the background: all this sounds too good to be true. In any case, I would like to bring some updates to this weblog and maybe blow some life into it, finally start it off and have someone read one or two pieces of my hideous writing. A lot has happened since I have last expressed myself through writing, so there will be topics to talk about; I also have some interesting things to discuss and most important would need some opinions on them.

Finally, I hope you guys found your own “it”, be it acting or something else. “It” that drives you forward and motivates you, even if just for a short while; at the end of the day you can try and take control of this driving force, make it work for you and help you build something bigger and better in your life, or out of your life. That’s my goal anyway. So, do you have it

Here’s a guy and everybody’s there, right? Up to him to put down what’s on everybody’s mind. He starts the first chorus, then lines up his ideas, people, yeah, yeah, but get it, and then he rises to his fate and has to blow equal to it. All of a sudden somewhere in the middle of the chorus he gets it – everybody looks up and knows; they listen; he picks it up and carries. Time stops. He’s filling empty space with the substance of our lives, confessions of his bellybottom strain, remembrance of ideas, rehashes of old blowing. He has to blow across bridges and come back and do it with such infinite feeling soul-exploratory for the tune of the moment that everybody knows it’s not the tune that counts but IT” – Dean Moriarty in “On The Road”

Categories: Personality | Tags: | 1 Comment

First ever step onto the US land | Scouting

Do you remember how I told you about my Green Card? Of course not, because for one, nobody is reading this blog, and second – I haven’t even written anything else since then, so I’m not complaining.

I have to use my visa for Green Card until 1st of August, and I’m coming to US this July to consummate this marriage with my almost-citizenship. This trip will become half travelling and enjoying myself, and half scouting. I’m still on the edge if I’d like to move to NYC or LA, therefore this will be a great opportunity to check out these cities and find out which one sells cheapest burritos. Or maybe I’ll just get drawn to somewhere like San Francisco, become a hippie and start thinking only about world peace. Off topic, as usual…

So I land at JFK tomorrow – for the first time ever I will touch the holy US soil, and I’m pretty excited, I have to say. How? I don’t think I have ever been this excited in my life. And I’m not even moving there, yet. The plan is to go where the eyes will lead me, but I will definitely have to look around New York and Los Angeles, then maybe have some me-time in Las Vegas, San Francisco and somewhere else. I know there is no point of doing anything acting-related, when I’ll be in LA for 2-4 days, so I’ll just look around the neighborhoods, check out the overrated Hollywood sign, take a picture of James Dean star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (obviously!), and the rest of the banal stuff.

I know this isn’t a big deal acting-wise, especially anyone born in the states, but it is for me. It was, and is a dream. Even if I’m going to do any mailings, meet with agents, go to a class or even take headshots, this will be a HUGE inspiration for me. Seeing Tinseltown for the first time ever in my life is a pretty big deal. Damn, if I’d look like Brad Pitt, I’d probably just drop there with 300 bucks, drive through McDonalds and straight into Burbank; get a job as prostitute’s driver and wait for my big break (his bio reference). However for now, lets keep it simple and make it a marathon, instead of a… well, you know. NYC tomorrow, look out for your next big name!

Categories: USA | 2 Comments

Thinking of becoming more “actor-ish” | Crazy

Or is it just me? The one who constantly – and I mean, on a daily basis – is destroying himself from the inside, punishing morally, with the thoughts that to become a better actor, you have to follow the steps of most great actors. And no, I am not talking about the steps of training, working, ACTING… the changes in question here are of persona, identity, behavior of one. Still confused? Then you probably one of the lucky ones and don’t even get a taste of these creepy thoughts. Those people who do know what I’m talking about here probably got it from the title of this post. Anyway, let’s carry on with what I’m trying to carry over here…

To me, it looks like there are only two general types of good actors – entertainers and artists, and I’m not trying to offend any of the type. Actor slash entertainer, in my eyes, is the one who rarely gets embarrassed, never self-conscious, all with jokes and laughs and working for the audience; this type of actor doesn’t mind to jump on the table and start doing stand-up comedy bit right in the middle of cafeteria full of people, just out of the blue. I’m not this kind of a person, but I do think they are lucky. Artist (not to say that entertainers can’t be labeled as these too) – with this particular description I mean an artsy person, the one in love with music, painting, poetry, anything of those, plus he/she is shy, self-conscious, and the reason these people became actors is to get away from their own real identity, to become someone else and take a rest from their own shyness. I’m kind of like this type, not really though.

Now, are we on the same page yet? I hope so, because I cannot make it more clear than that. Let us move further, and I want to ask you a question.

Do you think one type of the actor has advantage over the other?

I would like to get back to the “artsy” type of an actor, and especially the part where I have said “that I’m not really that type”. What am I? A mixture of the two, with non of the good sides and will the baggage of bad ones. I’m no entertainer, but I’m shy, though I have no passion for music, poetry, and any of that kind of things. I would really love to feel it, I just don’t. Or am I just lazy? Maybe. The important thing is, that I realized this long time ago and still trying to figure out a way of how to become one of those. I love acting, this is what matters to me the most, but I would love to be a person who deserves to love acting with a passion, if you catch my drift. I would love to be a James Dean, Johnny Depp, James Franco type of an actor – people, that when we look at them, we can tell they’re slightly crazy, out in their own world, “artsy”. Maybe that is why they are/were good. At least I think so. Is this wrong that I am trying to achieve that state? You would probably say yes.

I’ve read that one thing that Meisner and Strasberg did agree one, is that they both like one Sicilian actor, who they though was the best actor ever to step on the stage/in front of a camera. Most of the teachers these days think that they secret to his greatness was his ignorance. William Esper wrote in his about how he learned of this Sicilian actor’s inability to have a simplest conversation – he just wasn’t intelligent (let’s call it this way) enough for this kind of task. Due to this secret of his, he was able to portray any character however he wanted – he had no self-consciousness, no self-awareness, no shyness, no nothing… he only wanted to act, and didn’t think much more than that. Just a like a kid. Do you remember how everyone always reminds us that children are the best actors? Well there you go, one of the great examples – the best, probably. This draws out another question I’d like to ask.

Would it be beneficial to become more ignorant? (sounds too rough, but there’s no better word for it)

What I am saying here is that in my case, if I would like to drop the shyness and self-awareness, the huge chunk of “thinking” part of my brain will have to stop their work. They will just be shut down, forever. If I managed to do so. Now I always though of myself as a fairly intelligent person, with an open mind and critical thinking – I was interesting in new things, research, medical studies, exploring the world, and never trusted a single article in a magazine or any type of this. I’ve question everything, and done my own research, which made me a VERY self-aware person. This was back when I didn’t think that braininess can actually hurt an actor’s craft; it was back in the day when I really wanted to be a smart one. Now all of that has to be dropped somehow, or forgotten, or just put aside for a while. However, is there really a way to do this? Can we shut down our critical thinking and become artists, living life in the moment, not over-thinking things, not worry about anything – just acting, playing, living… I really hope so, because this is what I want to do. I don’t care about becoming famous or rich, I just want the mindset of a great actor; the one, who doesn’t care about what others are thinking about him, one who loves to do what he/she does in spite of all the hate or criticism. Is that too much to ask now, at this stage of life?

If at least one person understood what I meant with this post, I am very, VERY happy. Then I guess I did sent my message across, then there is someone like me. If not, then a simple and last question follows.

Am I crazy?

Categories: Personality | Tags: | 1 Comment

New job = new savings account!

Savings "Move to LA"

I'm going to need a much bigger jar...

Alright alright, so it’s not a new job, it’s a job. I haven’t worked for some time, so I guess it wouldn’t be fair to say I’ve changed jobs, unless, of course, playing guitar, reading books and playing Call of Duty can be considered a career investment. Oh man, I wish it could be.

Anyway, congratulations to myself, as of yesterday my persona is officially labeled “Payments Administrator”. Somehow, without any degree or any experience in this sort of field what-so-ever, I have jumped up the career ladder one step higher, and didn’t have to start at the very bottom, which is very weird (it’s probably my Eastern European charm). Who knows, maybe after a while I’ll change my mind and give up my acting career goals for this one?.. … …made myself laugh there a little bit. It’s a good pay though, not the best schedule, but manageable, and it’s going to be great source for my “Move to LA” savings account (yes, that is how I actually named it in my online LLoyds bank account) for the year to come.

For every actor out there, bear in mind guys, that from what I hear, as soon as you come to La-La-Land, first thing you have to do is find a job. It doesn’t matter what job is it – cleaner, waiter, manager, banker or Governor’s consultant – just any source of income! Try to spend as less money from your savings as possible, those should be left there for darker times, when they’ll arrive (and don’t worry, they WILL strike down upon thee, with great vengeance and furious anger!)

Another thing is that it isn’t easy to find a good, and especially flexible job in Tinseltown. The main reason is because every actor out there is after this kind of job, and as you probably know (if you have done your research, which you should’ve) there is a lot of them. One thing that is going to be asked from you is experience. Yes, same old “how do you get experience without getting a job” – well, don’t start screaming in that sarcastic voice, because we are all in the same boat, and most of us somehow manages to get a job or two. So it’s doable. What I would suggest (and what I did), when you are still in a planning stage of moving to Angeltown and have an opportunity to pick what kind of job you’re after, try to get something that you would like to work later too (acting excluded). I myself was trying to go after one of the two – bartender or customer service. I couldn’t get bartender, but I got something similar to CS, so I hope to hold in there for as long as I need to, and then bring the experience as well as letter of recommendation, reference, with me to City of Angels. Hopefully that will put me slightly above anyone without what I’ve got, and that’s half a battle won there.

I guess the best way to spend your free time out of work and training before going to your dream city is to research, research, and then research more. “Knowledge is power“, as Sir Bacon said, and it definitely applies here.

In other news, I’m now listening to some classical Vivaldi and Beethoven and loving it. Can’t get enough of “Four Seaons”, damn!

Categories: Progress | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

February 7th, 2012 | Approved!

Moving forward...

Moving forward…

This is the day. The day, when I notice, that nobody is actually reading this blog. Oh well, lets just hope that YOU, who’s currently reading this post, is looking it up in the history, because the blog itself has finally become popular. Yes yes, remember this day my son, 7th of February, 2012 is when I, while still being young, got approved for my DV2012 Visa a.k.a. Green Card. Yes yes, it was such a magical feeling, to finally realize that I could still keep dreaming, to not settle for what I’ve had at the moment and push myself forward, hope for better times, great parts and recognition; oh yes yes! Also, to stay poor, spend money for acting classes, voice teachers, headshots, casting websites subscriptions and the rest of the charade.

You see, my boy, when the thought of me not getting Green Card crossed my mind, which would mean I’m not acceptable in US, and then it’s nearly impossible for me to get any other kind of visa too, I got depressed. It used to be my dream, and it’s still is, but now – nobody can take it away from me. After the words: “Welcome to the States”, the motivation was back, and so was I! That was also a great day for this blog, as I decided to keep posting in here more often for people to follow my journey and to find inspiration to follow their own dreams, and I never stopped. Never. Yes yes.

Categories: Visa | 1 Comment

13 days left…

…to find out if I am going to become a successful actor or not. So, just a quick one, more for myself rather than actually for anybody out there.

I’ve created this blog and wrote 2 posts very enthusiastically, planning on making this a guide for everyone who’s ever going to pack his bags for the same kind of journey I’m going on now. Unfortunately, from some inside source, I’ve received a terrible “hint” – I might not be given a green card after all, even though I’ve won and paid for everything, etc. Why? Well, it’s inside information, so lets leave it this way, especially because it’s not a fact, as is me getting a green card wasn’t a fact too.

Let’s wait and see. If you won’t hear from me ever again – you guessed right, I have hanged myself, as every dedicated actor who’s dream has been ruined would do. However, if I’m blessed with everything that is wonderful about this world, I will update this blog the same day and keep freaking-world-news-website update rate. Honest!

So, just a little less than 2 weeks left to find out, and this is one of those times I wish I would believe in God, but what the hell – he’s screwed me over too many times in the past anyway. Later!

Categories: Visa | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

Motivated actors

MotivationI very often ask myself (not out loud) if acting is what I really want to do for the rest of my life? Is it something that’s worth quitting University, living off bread and water to save up money, to avoid further education and experience that might possibly be useful when looking to get a better paying job, etc? Yes – I give the answer to myself – without having a reason to support this answer. I’m not going to lie – I don’t answer in an instant, I think for a second or two, and I do have my doubts and the realist inside of me sometimes won’t let me go off easily. I guess that might be the “reasonable” part of my brain talking to me, because I always used to be a rational person, always seeking for something that’s scientifically proved rather than having a lot of unreasonable support from “believers” (yes, a religion reference).

According to SAG, there’s like 90% of unemployed actors in Los Angeles. If I would call myself a person with a rational mind, I wouldn’t be going after this occupation, would I? So this is the only exception, where I feel that my ambitions, my motivation, my desire and my passion for accomplishing this lifetime goal is greater than any rational mind, any reasonable thinking and especially statistics. Or I’m just ignorant, because I chose to be.

Motivation is what drives every actor forward, pushing him/her to get out of home and do something for the better of their future career when they just finished 12 hour night shift at Starbucks. I personally seek inspiration constantly, every day, throwing some more wood into the fire – it allows me to always have passion within myself, to never let the fire fade away, to keep accomplishing smaller goals in life that lead to bigger ones. If it’s something that you really want to do, finding something that inspires you is very easy: quotes, motivational audios, films, blogs, biographies, songs, books, scripts, activities, documentaries… I can go on and on with this list, even though these are more or less forced motivations. Still, it takes very little to set yourself up for something great.

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” ~ Zig Ziglar

That motivation that you force upon yourself probably isn’t going to be working if you use that constantly. It’s like caffeine – it pumps you up for some time, but then you get used to the feeling and it barely affects you. Motivational things mentioned above should be used once in a while, in between actual “bathing”. We get natural motivation from just relaxing, breathing, thinking about life, what we did and what we are going to do, what is happening at the moment – and if that drives you forward, doesn’t make you want to quit, you can almost be sure that you are destined for this (not that I believe in destiny, but it seems like this word fits in here), and basically – YOU CAN DO THIS.

And fuck statistics, most of them aren’t accurate anyway!

Categories: Unrelated | Tags: | 1 Comment

Blog at